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2009.04.30
Large collection of jokes added, including several pages of lightbulb jokes.
2009.04.27
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Light Bulb Jokes
This series of jokes is supposed to be funny, so if you’re offended by any of them, we’ll probably make jokes about you some day, so lighen up. Try to laugh a little—life is no joke!
You might be amazed at how many light bulb jokes there are. We have a rather large collection, but certainly did not include all of them. Some lightbulb jokes you may have heard are not very funny, and some are offensive, so we tried to pick out the best ones we could find. We hope you enjoy them.
The Original Light Bulb Joke
The original light bulb joke has been told about whatever group of people seems to be less intelligent. It goes something like this…
Q: How many idiots does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to turn the ladder.
In New Jersey in the 1970’s, it was a classic Polish joke. You would replace “idiots” with “Pollocks”, or whatever group you wanted to make fun of. I guess they call them Polls in Europe. It was all in good fun, and even people of Polish decent would laugh and tell such jokes.
Favorite Light Bulb Jokes
This category is what we consider some of the best lightbulb jokes. Some of them might be repeated under a different category, so we’ll try to keep the list short.
Q. How many Englishmen does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. Change a lightbulb? Why that bulb hasn’t been changed in 500 years! Why change it now?
A2. None. They’d rather curse the darkness.
Q. How many New Yorkers does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. None of your $!#’n business! Get the @$%~ out of my way!
Q: How many Vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: YOU DON’T KNOW! YOU WEREN’T THERE, MAN!!! YOU’LL NEVER KNOW!!!!!
Q: How many kids with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: Hey! Do you wanna go ride bikes?
Q. How many Jedi Knights does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. These aren’t the bulbs you’re looking for. Move along.
(from the original Star Wars movie, the Jedi could use mind control to get past the guards).
Q: How many Microsoft employees does it take to change a lightbulb ?
A: None. They just declare darkness the new standard.
Q: How many aerospace engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. It doesn’t take a rocket scientist, you know.
Q: How many grocery store cashiers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Are you kidding? They won’t even change a five dollar bill.