Light Bulb Jokes

light bulb

Q: How many schizophreniacs does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Well, he thinks it’s five but as we all now it’s only him, so…

Q: How many people with multiple personality disorder does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One, but they’re really three.

Q: How many paranoids does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: WHO WANTS TO KNOW?

A: JUST EXACTLY DO YOU MEAN BY THAT? HUH? HUH?

Q: How many vietnam vets does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: YOU DON’T KNOW! YOU WEREN’T THERE, MAN!!! YOU’LL NEVER KNOW!!!!!

Q: How many kids with ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder) does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: Hey! Do you wanna go ride bikes?

Q: How many procrastinators does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: One – but he has to wait until the light is better.

Q: How many pessimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, the old one is probably screwed in too tight.

A: None, it’s a waste of time because the new bulb probably won’t work either.

Q: How many optimists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, they’re convinced that the power will come back on soon.

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Only one, but the lightbulb must want to change.

A: None; the bulb will change itself when it is ready.

A: How long have you been having this fantasy ?

A: How many do you think it takes?

Q: How many egotists does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: One. He holds onto the lightbulb, and waits for the world to revolve around him.

...and then what?